Jail Visit Upcoming

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by lbogie » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:27 pm

Hi Everyone,

It's been a while since I've posted a topic. It's part of my renewal of commitment to ME Program. It becomes evident that I am neglecting myself and my Program when my life becomes unmanageable, again.
So, our middle child, Son was arrested last Thanksgiving, in the town where his life spiraled out of control. We found out while at our Daughter's home helping them move into their new home. (timing is always the greatest, right?) During this time, my Husband is in his 2nd year of fighting for his life! It's been a traumatic 2 years since "that day". Alot of emotional chaos, in addition to all the physical battles Hubs is going through. Here we are, 2 years later..............Thanks Be! One day at a time. Struggling to be Grateful for the many Blessings.
We are going to visit our Son, in jail on Wednesday. I know it will be a difficult day, especially for my Husband.........and Son :( and me. None of this is "easy". I know he is where he needs to be, where he is "meant" to be, but, I'm human, I hurt sometimes. I pushed everything addiction to the back burner, dealing with everything c@ncer. Everything happens for a reason, whatever that may be. Sometimes we are just not meant to understand. I know everything works out the way it is meant to and I have so little control over anything other than myself, my actions, reactions, and behaviors. One day at a time, together we can, Be True to Thine Self and Keep coming back.........................note to self! ;)
Thanks for "listening"................Hugs, Lois
“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”

― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by MATT'S MOM » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:49 pm

I will be thinking of you and your family on Wednesday and praying for you all. It is hard...


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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by Knappster » Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:00 pm

Hugs to you Lois.

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by endoftheroad » Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:30 pm

Be easy on yourselves. I have spent a lot of time and emotional energy visiting my son in jail He is always a delight and at his best when he is clean and sober and taking classes courtesy of the state.

I don't give any money in any way or even offer groceries to be sent his way although he always begs for coffee. Ha, his C&S friends have trained me well! And my hubbie has not wanted to visit in all this time and that is fine with me as it is his path....

I wish you both the best and listen to happy tunes when you leave and carry on with your lives one day at time! Hugs, Susan
This is the easier softer way.....

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by slm219 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 9:43 am

Hey Lois -

I too will be thinking of you guys on Wednesday.

It was not easy seeing my AS in jail last winter but actually as Susan says......he was the best he had been in years. We had many sane conversations, he looked great and it was good to see my "son" again. So ....yes.....one day at a time.... you have this!
Even a small star shines in the darkness.

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by HollyTx » Mon Nov 13, 2017 10:38 am

Sending you love and prayers.


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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by SDIN2T » Mon Nov 13, 2017 10:54 am

Lois - Your words are the definition of Faith! Thank you for the reminder how I should be living my life.

And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life - JK Rowling

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by Suejan » Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:22 am

Thank you for sharing Lois,
I hope you and your husband get what you need from this visit. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to see your child in jail, but I sure know how hard it was to see one in active addiction- I know I would have rather he had been clean- even if that meant jail, better than what he was doing!
You and your husband have been through a lot these last few years-Im glad you have the opportunity to both be here to see your son:)
Good Thoughts

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by flash » Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:44 am

Dear Lois - Can you imagine What we would do without program? I can't imagine.
You've certainly been challenged over the last couple years to use every single tool you've probably ever picked up during your journey.
You are an example of how it can work and I love how you remind us that you are human, cause in my book you've kind of been superwoman.
I will be thinking of you on Wednesday and ask the universe to send extra strength and prayers to you, your husband and son.
Thank you for sharing with us. It is inspiring.
Love ya,

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by belkar1 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:08 am

Dear Lois,

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. My AS is in jail again too, and hubby has life changes he must do. I have NO control over any of this. My job is to love them.

Insert my job is to LOVE ME too, kind of scratched my head on that one :? I find sometimes I am like a cat chasing my tail. Or my loved ones, so I decided. To isolate for a bit from all of them, I peek my head out and if the tornado is still raging I close the door again.

Wednesday you decided to open the door, I hope you find a calm. This too shall pass, yes, it will but sometimes it sure sucks. I am grateful my son is in jail :roll: he is watched, and is not sleeping under a bridge or worse. Every day gives his brain a chance to reset, I have hope he can find his reset button.

Yes, together WE can, and take us with you. How? a simple sticky note, strength, hope, courage in your pocket. I have done it, and it worked for me. I have hope that you can find the blessing in all of this, I am with you on not understanding.

Keep coming back, the strength we give each other is a blessing.


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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by Jade11 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:22 pm

Lois, I know it's hard, when I visited my AH in jail and later prison, it was such a mix of emotions. On the one hand I was relieved he was in a "safe" place as strange as it sounds to call jail "safe." On the other hand it was painful to see him there. During those visits I was thankful to enjoy the real him again as he regained some clarity. I do agree everything happens for a reason... I believe in my HP's plan and that it is a good one! Thank you for sharing, I hope you all have a good visit on Wednesday. Hugs

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by NeoMom » Sun Nov 19, 2017 8:24 pm

My thoughts are with you.

My son was just recently arrested, and he is in jail now. I am experiencing a lot of emotions (to say the least) and I know it is not going to be easy to take his first call...the first visit.

But I do believe this was a Devine intervention, and that he is where he needs to be.

Thank you (all) for sharing...

I don't feel so alone.

"Embrace the glorious mess that you are" E.Gilbert

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Re: Jail Visit Upcoming

Post by Rj1 » Mon Nov 20, 2017 11:30 am

My thoughts and prayers with you as well. My AD was just arrested as well. I am finding in this forum a lifeline to sane living. Thank you for sharing your strength.

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