AH active again

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Fergie1
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AH active again

Post by Fergie1 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:09 pm

AH active again and i don't really know what to say. I feel so conflicted. I iwill keep coming back and focus on me

I don't know what to do who will take care of our dog while I'm at work.

Really hurting tonight

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LKSG8R
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Re: AH active again

Post by LKSG8R » Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:20 am

I am sorry that you are hurting. My AM is finally clean after 60 years and I can imagine the pain I would feel if she started using again.

I really related to your concerns for your dog. My alcoholic husband and I are sort of separated, but I have allowed him to stay in our guest room upstairs so my dog isn't alone for 13-14 hours while I'm at work. The last time we separated I felt such peace not having to watch him get drunk every night, but allowed him back due to child care issues. That was 20 years ago.

Now in program I realize that I probably didn't seem like a loving wife. I felt sorry for myself, trapped and resentful. I'm pretty sure my husband could feel me projecting and used my behavior to justify his drinking. I didn't cause his alcoholism but I sure contributed to it. I am consciously trying to make amends for that by being a kinder friend.

As for my dog, my friends have told me there are dog-sitters, doggy daycare, etc. If I am honest with myself I think I am using my dog as an excuse to have my husband stay close. I need to examine my motives. I'm not very good at making final decisions.

I hope you have a better day today.
Lisa
Trying to be the person my dog thinks I am.

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vscook
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Re: AH active again

Post by vscook » Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:15 am

I'm sorry to hear about your AH. As a former pet sitter, I can say that there are lots of people who can let your dog out while you are at work. I know it costs money, but it will give you one less thing to worry about. (Hugs)
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

Brneyz1125
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Re: AH active again

Post by Brneyz1125 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:09 pm

I understand how you feel. My AH did 23 Days in rehab and was only out 3 days and relapsed a week from Monday. He’s been house bound now for 4 days and has been clean, but has severe depression and anxiety, which is what I believe caused him to self medicate on xanAx. He just got fired from his job Wednesday and was the sole provider of our home. We have 3 kids and I only work part time. Right here at the holidays and I’m feeling really depressed. I know all I can do is try to be supportive and that there isn’t anything I can do to fix him. I am at a loss right now. We will probably end up losing all we have 😢

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lbogie
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option_firstname: Lois

Re: AH active again

Post by lbogie » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:03 pm

Welcome Fergie,

I'm so glad you found us. You will never be alone again. Keep coming back for YOU! There is much to learn, so much support and encouragement and no judgement. It's a place where I come for my Serenity! None of this is easy, that is for sure, but together, we can. You're not alone. Keep the Faith.

Hugs,
Lois
“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”

― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

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HollyTx
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Re: AH active again

Post by HollyTx » Mon Nov 13, 2017 10:42 am

Hi Fergie,

Welcome.

Yes, focus on you. That's important. I think that was the most important lesson I learned - the addict will do what the addict will do. And I can focus on that, or I can step back, breathe and create a life I love and want to live. Giving up control of something I never had control over made all the difference.

Hugs.

Holly

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