glad to be back

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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wheretoturn
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glad to be back

Post by wheretoturn » Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:22 am

I have not been on here in about 5 years I think. I have sat here and read some of the posts and I still see a lot of familiar names. I never should have left because I have never "not needed" the support.
Will not go into a lot of long details about my son's journey, except to say that Naranon gave me the strength I badly needed to pack up his clothes and move him out of my house for what I said "would be the last time he ever lived with me."
I have stuck to that plan thus far, and when I quit enabling him he has overall done much better, but in 28 years his longest clean time has been 8 months, and he relapsed less than 2 months ago. Yesterday makes his second relapse in less than two months. He has a fiance whom he lives with, and he has had the best life he has had in years, but I know he is going to lose it if he doesn't get back in a program. I also know I can't do it for him.
After all these years though my intuition is just as strong, and some how I still know when something is wrong. I have never been wrong....that electric shock runs thru my body when I call and the phone is off! However thanks to Naranon and what I learned back then I can sleep at night instead of out chasing after him.
For anyone that remembers my story, I have had his son since 7th grade, and he is now in his second year of college! I have struggled financially for years because of my enabling. I ran thru most of the money that was left from my father's passing trying to clean up Heath's messes. I got my own things out of pawn shops, and then other people's things out of pawn shops for several years. My health continued to decline, as well as putting myself in danger on many occasions confronting drug dealers, trying to get car's back, get my son back, etc, etc, etc.
I was laid off in 2016 and life has been extremely hard since then. Nobody wants to hire a 64 year old, but I have still managed somehow. Heath just recently two weeks ago said he would start paying back at $25 a week the $40,000 he owes me, but here he is today, gone, missing work, and probably has loaned his jeep out to a drug dealer. His pattern continues, and I refuse to fall back into my "old patterns" and that is why I am here.
I need to work my program. I have numerous health issues, and I can't let myself fall in that dark hole of trying to save him. I can't really fall into that dark hole of trying to help his fiance save him!! I love her to death and have known her for years, but she enables him.
Just wanted to say hello to those of you I recognize and ask you to bear with me as I get immersed back in this program.
thanks for listening and hope to see you at meetings.
Vicki (where to turn)

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Knappster
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:35 pm
option_firstname: Joan

Re: glad to be back

Post by Knappster » Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:55 pm

So glad you are back. This is where you belong!

Joan

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slm219
Posts: 519
Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 3:00 pm
Location: Pennsylvania
option_firstname: Sharon

Re: glad to be back

Post by slm219 » Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:07 pm

Welcome back!

I have dabbled in Nar-Anon over the years as my 44 AS has had ups and downs with addiction. I am no longer a "dabbler"....I am committed to this program for MY well being and have realized its for life.

Glad you found your way back and hope to "see" you at one of the meetings! They are Sunday, Monday and Wed night at 8:00 (EST).
Hugs,
Sharon
Even a small star shines in the darkness.

wheretoturn
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Re: glad to be back

Post by wheretoturn » Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:17 pm

thanks for the meeting info. I wasn't sure of the days.

Vicki

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4me
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Location: High desert SW, USA
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Re: glad to be back

Post by 4me » Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:45 pm

Welcome Back Vicki!

I’m glad you found your way back to us again!
You know your not Alone in this.
You’ve got us for support. Keep Coming Back!

I’ll look forward to seeing you in our meetings.

Hugs,
DAnn
4me

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PBH777
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Re: glad to be back

Post by PBH777 » Tue Oct 31, 2017 4:00 pm

Welcome back!

PBH

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MATT'S MOM
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option_firstname: Sue

Re: glad to be back

Post by MATT'S MOM » Tue Oct 31, 2017 4:53 pm

welcome back to the family!!!!

judyg
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Re: glad to be back

Post by judyg » Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:58 pm

Welcome back! We’ve kept the light burning for you. You know what to do.

Judy

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flash
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Location: CT
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Re: glad to be back

Post by flash » Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:24 pm

A life long journey - welcome back - I can think of many worse places to be.
Love, Donna

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hopefulNE
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Location: Red Sox Nation
option_firstname: Pat

Re: glad to be back

Post by hopefulNE » Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:47 pm

Vicki,
Welcome back.
I can so relate to the intuition, always knowing when something is wrong. I always knew, even when I didn't want to, even when I tried to convince myself I was wrong.
Glad you are back here, taking care of yourself.
Pat
"Keep Calm and Carry On" - British Ministry of Information, WWII

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belkar1
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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:11 pm
option_firstname: Carmen

Re: glad to be back

Post by belkar1 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:26 am

Welcome home to your family of choice.

Love
Belkar

MayMarchJanuary
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Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2017 7:05 pm
option_firstname: Connie

Re: glad to be back

Post by MayMarchJanuary » Tue Nov 21, 2017 10:27 am

Vicki
Thank you so much for sharing . When I read posts I feel like the words are taken right out of me. I'm going thru the same thing. Connie

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