With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.
Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.
- Posts: 1102
- Joined: Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:34 pm
A warm welcome to the forum. I saw your post on another topic and didn't want your share to get lost.
"New here. My adult daughter is using again. She is addicted to pain medications, has spent time in prison. She was released from prison in 2014 and now has custody of her children, aged 16 and 13. She has used various illegal substances since she was in her early teens and is now 38. We, her family, are in touch with each other and determined not to enable her as we have in the past and are giving her no money when she asks for it, etc. Her significant other (who is not an addict) supports her and the children. If she continues to use, we--my younger daughter and I-- are not in a position to take my grandchildren to live with us. We, mostly my younger daughter, did this for five years while my older daughter used. My granddaughter can live with her father. My grandson does not have that option. I feel like an absolute failure as her mother, despite the fact that my common sense tells me it's not about me. Thanks for listening."
Addiction is so very draining and I can remember when I felt like a failure as a mother. The three C's helped me....I didn't Cause it....I can't Control it.....and I can't Cure it. I like to add a fourth C....I can Contribute to it by enabling.
Keep coming back. There is so much wisdom from all the ES & H shared by those that have walked many days in your shoes.
- Posts: 67
- Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2012 10:41 pm
- Location: Florida
- option_firstname: Peg
I am so sorry that you're in such pain. I can absolutely relate to the feeling of helplessness and guilt--feeling ashamed that our daughters are addicted and unable to care for their children, feeling responsible for the situation even though we know it's NOT about us. Before I found this program and this forum I was cast adrift on a sea of anger, fear, shame and uncertainty. I still have days on which I'm in pain, unsure of how to proceed and feeling SAD, but much less frequently than I used to experience.
I'm so glad you came here for YOU, as Lois says --(a wonderful role model whose posts I often am helped by). Keep coming back, find a face-to-face meeting in your town, and/or come to our S/M/W night meetings at 8pm on this website. We are all very happy you found us--the compassion and wonderfully supportive community here make it something very special.
"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:55 am
- option_firstname: Seporah
I am fairly new and my parents have a drug addict issue referring to meth and cocaine, also heroin. I want to get them help anonymously and I don't know really where to start. I'm thirteen years old and came from California, where I wasn't that aware of the addiction. Now, I fear I my parents and they are starting to get crazy. I believe it is unsafe for my brother and sister. Whom are seven and nine years old. Please help me and give me something to do to help.
- Posts: 2433
- Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:10 pm
- Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Welcome Train. Society often seems to blame the parents for any bad behavior of kids. I wasn't a perfect parent and have some regrets, but I did not cause my child to become as addict. It was series of bad choices mixed with biology that did that. I love my son and want hm to live a happy life, but at this point in my life, my first responsibility is to me. He is an adult. My parenting days are over.
Please keep coming back. Find a face to face meeting (Nar-Anon or Al-Anon ) in your area. This program has saved my sanity many times. You will find much support and wisdom here.
Porah2004, I copied your post and started a new thread so members can respond to Train2017 and you separately.
Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.
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