Coping with homeless adult child on street

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Ronni
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by Ronni » Sun Dec 03, 2017 12:03 pm

My boy was homeless for a few months several years ago. It was his bottom I guess, because his latest recovery began at that time, and he's three years sober as I type.

There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think "what if he ends up dead?" Also "What if he IS dead?" And "If he dies, will I ever know?"

Those questions, for which I had no answers, drove me crazy. And then finally they drove me into these rooms. And the answers to all of them became I didn't cause it. I can't cure it. I can't control it.
My son's addiction is something that happened TO HIM. It is NOT something he did TO ME.

Ma1954
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by Ma1954 » Mon Dec 04, 2017 8:56 am

My son has been homeless and is on the verge again. My husband was in the hospital recently and both his roomies were homeless guys. I saw my son laying in those beds. It was really disturbing.
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

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EMPTY
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by EMPTY » Mon Dec 04, 2017 1:37 pm

You are not alone. I too have a homeless son.
He is not using, but I believe not mentally stable.
These are the hardest days I have ever experienced
in my life. As a mother, our instinct is to provide,
protect, feed and shelter our children. This has
become gut retching, heartbreaking and questioning
God, "what have I done to deserve this." Words
cannot adequately express the pain.
No...you are not alone.
Each day I pray, go about the business of living a life
I deserve and pray again.
Blessings to you.

Irene
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by Irene » Mon Dec 04, 2017 3:35 pm

My daughter is 39 and homeless in NYC. Two years ago she was run over by a car and both her legs were broken so badly that she needed pins and rods inserted. She walks with a bad limp and her legs cause her a lot of pain. I have been sending her money now for over 10 years, but I have to stop now. The reason I sent money for so long is that I couldn't offer her a place to live because I remarried and my husband would not allow it. I have felt tremendous guilt for so long that I feel nothing else. This week is the first week that I won't send her money. I know she will call and expect it, even though I have warned her for the last six months that the money is ending. I dread that phone call.

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endoftheroad
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by endoftheroad » Mon Dec 04, 2017 11:39 pm

I have compassion, compassion, compassion after many years of too much judgement, too much control and too much anger. The disease is progressive and our darling addicted loved ones go places that we would never wish on our worst enemy. Oh my....

But after exploring the steps and finding friends in our wonderful and simple 12 Step program, we begin to have tools, how not to live in fear for our addicted loved ones, how to have hope for them and how to step forward in our lives.

My son has been on the streets and in shelters for about 4 years! He is very resourceful and not ready to leave the drug that gives him the illusion of feeling okay about his life. So hard to comprehend, but he knows I love him, that I would save him from the sewers of hell. But, he has to want the saving. I can't say when, only he can......we must have hope and we must have the faith!

Stay close, we walk this walk together. ox Susan
This is the easier softer way.....

Ma1954
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by Ma1954 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:23 am

One of the reasons I don't want my son living with me is his hatred of my husband (who hates him back) After one of the last fights they had I found my son standing in the shadows with a hammer. Good Lord. I defused that. I will never let my son move back in. I really wish my son was in jail. I sadly think that would help him. Sue
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

risingstar
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by risingstar » Sun Dec 17, 2017 8:46 pm

My nearly 50-year old stepson is a heroin addict and has been homeless on and off (mostly on) for 25 years. A felon, he cannot find employment, sign a lease (on his own), was recently thrown out of an apartment. My husband gives him access to his inheritance so he occasionally stays at a motel until the money is gone. The the phone calls and stories begin. Stepson has been released from ER and ICU recently for a variety of infections, and this crisis followed what I believe must have been an overdose (trip to ER) about a month ago. Multiple crises, stories about a heart condition that required doctor's care and thus money from us, and so on. This is an excruciatingly painful experience (more so for his father), but we are at a loss as to what to do, living far away. My husband just returned from a short visit, but cannot live his life for him. It has been heartbreaking

Playmisty
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by Playmisty » Mon Dec 18, 2017 11:44 am

I have two daughters living on the street, ages 40 and 34.. Both have children being raised by someone else, both drug addicts... I've tried helping them by letting them live with me... The last time was a disaster, I had to call the police. I had thrown out something important that was broken... How in the world can a homeless person become a hoarder, I don't know... I just know with two daughters put there homeless, I don't know where they are, I just pray... God please keep them safe, and help them to lose the addiction and find peace, amen... Please if you see them ... Be kind...

Ma1954
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by Ma1954 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 1:28 am

My son will be homeless soon. He doesn't have a car to live in or couches to surf on. It is winter here in PA. I am devastated. I also feel the guilt of 'why don't you let him live with you' We've tried that. My husband hates my AS/RAS. When he was here he broke all our rules. So he got kicked out. Hopeless. Sue
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

shelshine
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Re: Coping with homeless adult child on street

Post by shelshine » Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:34 am

Thank you all for sharing. It helps to hear your stories and know that I/we are not alone.

My daughter that is homeless will be 30 on Monday. We have not heard anyhing since I received a voice message from her on August 18. I believe she is living in another state as she skipped an arraignment date and there is a warrant out for her arrest here in California. She has had addictive issues and possible mental illness. She can be very hostile.

With the holidays and her birthday, I am longing to hear from her. I wonder if she is alive. No one has heard from her and there are no signs of online activity. I have 3 friends who have lost loved ones to drug abuse in the last 6 months. It's a reality. The not knowing is tough. I've made great strides in going on with my life, for myself, my other children and to not waste this gift of life I've been given. I pray in faith for her most days...but dang, I'm a mom and miss her and even kind of begged recently to God, "please let her call." Balancing between hope and sober knowledge of what her condition can bring...may we all find peace.

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