Roller coaster

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Calikathie
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Roller coaster

Post by Calikathie » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:13 am

The last month has been insane, this is the abbreviated version. My son is an addict/alcoholic and he's getting worse. The latest episode landed him in ICU for four days. He threatened to kill himself so he was 5150'd. This time he was so bad from the abuse from being on the street and homeless he ended up in ICU. The plan has been to get him into rehab. We spoke to his psychiatrist who told us if he ends up in street again he will probably not survive. He's at his "bottom" and we should take him home. Our son has not been home in over a month, we kicked him out. During that month he has been in and out of at least six hospitals and arrested twice. This last time, the threatening to kill himself and ICU kicked things up a notch. We allowed him to come home and he was "different" this time and the shrink said he really needed our support. He was fine for three days and … drank again. He has an appointment this morning to interview for a rehab facility. There are only a few facilities that are state/county funded. We are at wits end, I don't imagine he will be admitted today, it's just an interview. I can't have this insanity back in my home again but I also can't bear the thought of him homeless under a bush. I know it's his choice, I know I can't control him and I'm trying to do the right thing, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. It's like living in prison and I can't stop the pain and worry. I've been praying, going to meetings and reading.

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grateful
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Re: Roller coaster

Post by grateful » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:55 am

"God, grant me knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry it out" keeps coming to my mind after reading your thread. That and "God will never lead us where God cannot keep us." That step has helped me during many dilemmas and very difficult times. When I don't know what to do and it appears I am standing up to my neck in water with sand blowing in my eyes, I turn to the power greater than me who can guide me, lead me and sustain me through the next rights steps for me.
Seek beauty

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hope4today
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Re: Roller coaster

Post by hope4today » Tue Mar 29, 2016 11:51 am

Calikathie wrote: He's at his "bottom" and we should take him home
No one knows an addicts "bottom" but the addict. Being in my home only exacerbated his addiction.
Calikathie wrote:The plan has been to get him into rehab
My plans never benefitted my son. The plan had to be his if he was going to embrace recovery.
Calikathie wrote: I can't have this insanity back in my home again but I also can't bear the thought of him homeless under a bush
I knew when I could no longer have the insanity of addiction in my home. Facing my fears allowed me to let go and accept that we could no longer live under the same roof as it was detrimental to both of us.

Other addicts can and do help other addicts. My son only had to reach out to them and be ready to fight for his life. It may seem hard to believe, but there were times when it was easier for him to live under a bush than do what was necessary to reach for recovery.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes. It had to begin with me if my son had any chance at arresting the beast of addiction.

May you grow strong in your recovery, one day at a time.

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