Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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carpediem
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Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by carpediem » Mon May 13, 2013 10:48 pm

Yes, a special snowflake. Unique. Resistant as hell to changing myself when I first landed here. I did have all the answers, or so I thought. If ONLY everyone would just LISTEN to me and DO what I said, we'd all be fine, right?!?!?!? My addict wouldn't be an addict!

Wrong. I was nutty as a fruitcake. (Nuts always use all-caps.) When it came time to turn my life and my will over to my HP as I understood him, her or it, I was unready. And man, I didn't want to hear it from anyone else who was malingering around in these rooms. These people had serious problems! Their lives were way messier than mine! Heck, I didn't need help half as much as most of these other folks did.

I was one special snowflake. I set myself apart from others because I thought I was smarter and knew better.

So here's what I heard that made me remember my special snowflakiness...
If you think you can manage your own life then why or how did you end up at a Nar-Anon meeting? We don't fly in on the wings of victory here ...
Having to get over my terminal uniqueness and sense of snowflaky-special-rightness was a big step in letting go and letting God. Maybe trying something I heard from my sponsor or my recovery pals, rather than doing the same-old thing that never worked before anyway. Maybe doing nothing instead of doing anything I could think of to try to run the show.

Fortunately, snowflakes melt. I didn't fly in here on wings of victory, and nobody does. However, this recovery thing is pretty cool. Once in awhile I do a victory lap around here in cyberspace. Lots of other times, I am so grateful for such little things that feel so big, and that's victorious too. Like astilbe and lavender in my garden. Like coffee. Like grilled cheese sandwiches. Like my kid laughing at my jokes. Life has gotten pretty cool. Even when it isn't so great, we have this awesome, great program. Now I know what to do, or what wisdom to tap into, so I can get back out of whatever ditch or mire I find myself in.

You may not have flown in here on the wings of victory, but stick around and see what happens. You may soon find yourself airborne.
"Enlightened ones only show us the way. We have to do our own work." --The Two-Year-Old Yoga Teacher.

cyndyava
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by cyndyava » Mon May 13, 2013 11:04 pm

This is adorable. It made me smile.
I pictured so many cute, happy,
program-inspired hearts and smiles floating around cyber-space. Thank you!
Big Hugs,
C.
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."
(Dr. MLK, Jr.)

Findinghope
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by Findinghope » Mon May 13, 2013 11:07 pm

Thank you for sharing this! I am glad not to feel like a special snowflake anymore. I would much rather be apart of the Snowstorm Recovery. Because even in it's unpredictability, it's beautiful.
You can't think your way into a new way of living . . . you have to live your way into a new way of thinking.

Cheryl

Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by Cheryl » Mon May 13, 2013 11:57 pm

Absolutely beautiful!

Cheryl

judyg
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by judyg » Tue May 14, 2013 5:32 am

This made me smile too, partially because I remember you in those first visits, and partially because I remember me too.

It reminds me of the first time my youngest son went to rehab. He was 20, came home from college, was all adult and upbeat about telling me he had a problem and needed to go to rehab and I thought, despite my vast experience with his father, that this was just a bump in the road, I'd take him over there, we'd get this thing knocked out, and all would be well. Because he and I both were such special snowflakes! On the way over as he slept I pulled over after a few hours to gas up, then I went in to go to the bathroom. When I came out a gas station worker was yelling at my car! I looked down and saw my special snowflake had opened the passenger car door and puked right there where people drive up to get gas! In that moment my HP told me my son wasn't so special after all, and neither was his mom!!

I'm glad you were special enough to stick around!!


XXOO

Judy

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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by drinkingwater » Tue May 14, 2013 9:46 am

I am IN LOVE with this post.

I was also a unique snowflake when I first got here... WE were different. WE were going to make it! He was SO dedicated to his program and I was SO dedicated to being his magical support system that would act like a force field to block any drugs from entering our lives. Oh lordy :) I'm glad my snowflake finally melted and I got real. Life is so much better when it's not snowing!

::hugs::
Lindsey
"If you're going through hell... keep going." -- Winston Churchill

carpediem
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by carpediem » Sat Aug 17, 2013 4:37 pm

Bump
"Enlightened ones only show us the way. We have to do our own work." --The Two-Year-Old Yoga Teacher.

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mertbow
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by mertbow » Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:51 pm

Thank you for this post.. Wow, I had to smile alot as I read it... sure does hit home, made me think. I am fairly new to Naranon so your post was right on time.

Mert
"Nothing changes if nothing changes."

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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by Lyra » Sat Aug 17, 2013 9:53 pm

Great post thank you. I am not a special snowflake. Im just as shocked and awed by the vagaries of addiction and my codependency as anyone else. I wish that my ex and I were special snowflakes-if so he wouldn't be my ex, but so far, no magic is happening. Where there is life, there is hope. I have hope for myself and I will always have hope for my ex that he finds his way and learns to live a drug free, honest and open life.

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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by nodbates » Sat Aug 17, 2013 11:38 pm

I was by no means a snowflake. Lol. I was like a muddy puddle that was once a flake. I wanted everyone here to remove the mud and make me a flake again. But finally I learned I had to learn there was a process. I had to focus on the next step of getting myself off the ground. After that I went through various things including a monsoon, and the hurricane I feel right now. But I'll keep trying and maybe I'll be a flake again. :)
Dorey

carpediem
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by carpediem » Sun Nov 24, 2013 10:16 pm

A nice, snowflakey, seasonal bump...
"Enlightened ones only show us the way. We have to do our own work." --The Two-Year-Old Yoga Teacher.

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belkar1
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by belkar1 » Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:48 am

what's that old jingle sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes....... well I am right there with ya. So much better now, thank you for this post it gave me a much needed smile this morning.

Love
Belkar

carpediem
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by carpediem » Sat Jan 04, 2014 9:10 am

New Years bump...
"Enlightened ones only show us the way. We have to do our own work." --The Two-Year-Old Yoga Teacher.

judyg
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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by judyg » Sat Jan 04, 2014 9:21 am

Good timing! I was thinking about this post earlier. Happy New Year!

Judy

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Re: Once upon a time, I was a special snowflake.

Post by robbiesmom » Sat Jan 04, 2014 12:04 pm

love this

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