an epiphany...

[Linda (lsv)]

Hi my friends,

I just had a light bulb moment in regards to my divorce. I accept that my ex has moved on....he does not love me any longer. Here is the epiphany...I do not love him either! How did it take me so long??? Because we were together for like 40 years (yes I am old)??? Because I just could not accept it??? because....

This is alot like the acceptance of addiction for me. I had to accept my son was an addict even though I fought it tooth and nail. I had to accept my marriage of many years ended....and he made other choices. Here is the kicker...I do not, and have not, loved HIM for a long time. I was in love with the illusion...the dream...the fantasy. I think you all get what I am sharing.

What I wanted...what I wished for...what I put all of my will into...just is not. It is not. Period.

So for tonite...I will put my marriage to sleep. There were alot of good years...alot. And then it soured. It is what it is. It is on me to accept reality. And again, for tonite, the light bulb flashed!

Love you all, and tyflms,
Linda

[Martha]

Oh Linda,
I understand exactly what you are saying......
I live the life I have, stayed in the marriage I had
for MANY years because of the flashes of what I wanted it to be....
The brief glimpses of the marriage I had wanted and the husband
I thought I had married.......

When all along, I stayed married for the potential I saw
that was not coming to light, nor may it ever......
I stayed married for the person I knew my AH COULD be,
not for the person he was........
I stayed married for what I thought MIGHT happen
someday down the road, not for what was in front of me......

I am glad you had your light bulb moment.......
I find that mine are always a freeing feeling.....

Cyber Hugs and God Bless,
Martha

[Aggie]

Divorce still sucks though…
Aggie

[Believer]

Thanks for sharing your willingness to look honestly at a situations that has been troubling to you. I am so happy unbelievably happy for you that you have found peace with the outcome of your marriage and examine your true feeling. Be happy very happy you so very much deserve to be.

love ya
marie

[river rock]

that light bulb flashed because you are
so bright!!!! Isnt this the best kind of
epiphany! oh , if they all would come to
us like this, lol.
Much happiness to you my friend.
Love River rock

[jraisbeck]

I was in love with the illusion...the dream...the fantasy. I think you all get what I am sharing.

What I wanted...what I wished for...what I put all of my will into...just is not. It is not. Period.

This is my reality, and was part of my step work I completed just tonight. I, too, am in love with the illusion of what my marriage to my AH COULD be, not what it has been the entire time we have been married. Our entire relationship I have finally realized was never based in the reality of who either of us was....the outcome of the relationship is the reality of who we are jft but the reasons behind being together in the first place, the reason I wanted so badly to marry this man were not based on the reality of who he was then or who he is now. It is powerful to realize this, but does not make the decisions that come along with this realization any easier.

HUGS!