Suicide attempt - her baby is fine

[iwilldothis]

Well, family, if only the grown siblings and their wives could understand step one. I admit I am powerless over the addict - or even recovering addict. The fact that my recovering pregnant daughter and her fiancee have been shunned and also banned from the family birthday party today - wasn't good enough. On Friday the daughter in law sent everyone one in the extended family a two page email exposing the problems my daughter has caused. The family can be so cruel to a recovering addict. To be sure my daughter read the email as it was also sent to her on Facebook. When my daughter read it and posted back a racist hateful four wood four letter post to daughter in law - all hell broke loose around here. I guess I was responsible for the rough language -- oh my bad.

It was too much - my daughter attempted suicide yesterday morning. She slit her wrists.

I woke very early and felt something wrong in the "force" -- she wasn't here at the house so I called my office and she answered - in tears at my desk. She said, "I need help and I don't know what more I can do -they hate me because I was an addict - I want to use drugs but I can't so because of the baby so....". 20 minutes later we were in the emergency room and she is still there today.

Damn the family. Their anger at her and also at us for taking the kids into our home as recovering addicts - for supporting her and the unborn baby girl - how can they be so mean. I doubt I will ever speak to my son and his wife again over this. Even the 85 year old grandparents are aghast at the timing and the vicious email. I am home for a quick nap and then back to the hospital. Don't know if she will go to the psych hospital for the second time in 2 months or will be discharged. And I have to leave for a 30 day business trip next week.

My dad said to me this morning - "How do you stay so calm and strong". I told him "I have 9 months of nar-anon under my belt this is out of my control - even though it has my name on it. I am trusting my higher power." He said he was proud of me - and I cried again.

[Wifey]

I am so sorry that I'm in tears over your post. I don't know how anyone could be so mean. I wonder if the dear daughter in law even stopped for a split second to think of what she was doing not only to your daughter but to her unborn baby. I will pray for your daughter and your family...especially for your daughter in law as she needs it more than the rest of you. Give your daughter a huge hug and tell her there are people who want the best for her and are praying for her and her family.

[Belladoll09]

I am so sorry to hear And I will keep your family in my prayers!

Stay strong, youre doing a wonderful job as is

[Cheryl]

First of all, I'm sending you a big hug.

Unfortunately, until someone has walked in our shoes, one cannot understand addiction or why we make the decisions we make. Just yesterday, my son told me that where one goes to get sober is not important, it is where one goes in one's head. And your daughter is working on staying sober, she is putting her child first ahead of drugs and you are helping her in that direction. No need to justify to anyone else.

As for the suicide attempt, sometimes people cut on their arms to reduce the emotional pain. The intent is not always to die but rather to stop the pain for a while. My son has benefited greatly from ongoing therapy over the last two years. The process takes time but my son also told me yesterday that his therapist now "calls him out" on his BS because he has the emotional stamina to handle it at this point. Recovery takes time and the addict needs support.

Take care of you.

Cheryl

[Melissa]

OOOO, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter--but I am relieved to know that she was found in time and is receiving psychiatric care.

Ignorance and lack of compassion transcends all walks of life--it knows no boundaries. We can try to educate our families, but many times they do not hear the message. It may seem trite for me to say "I'm sorry" again, but I am sorry for the pain your family blow up has created...for all of your sakes. Addiction truly is a family disease and it's tentacle have a looooong reach.


Stay close. We are here for you. You are not alone.

(((hugs)))

[pabrown]

I'm so sorry about your daughter, so glad you
were able to reach her and get her the help
she needs. I always thought that people inheriently
had a good heart with good intentions but when
you throw addiction into the mix people shun
away and get defensive in such mean ways. They
can't possible understand unless they have walked
in our shoes. I will contiune prayers for your
daughter and a healthy baby girl!

((Hugs))
Patsy

[tocfarm]

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter! I am glad to know that the baby is fine and you were able to get her to the hospital in time. I absolutely can't imagine what you must be feeling. I am so sad. I am glad that she has you. I pray that she will find the strength to rise above all those that would like to keep her down. With daughters in the same predicament , know that I am thinking of you, her and the baby.
Carole

[wingover]

Prayers your way.

[Believer]

She is so lucky to have you for a MOM. Prayers coming your way for you and yours.

Hugs and love
Marie

[carpediem]

Praying for everyone, and especially for some compassion for your daughter and you.

[iwilldothis]

Thank you friends. I have been in and out of the hospital constantly for the past two days. Now that the family birthday party is over - to which I did not attend - the stress is gone from the universe. Daughter must be transferred to a psych hospital for release from the general hospital BUT only after she formulates a "plan" and is on anti-depressants. However, since she is high risk pregnant and high risk due to using drugs in the recent past and has been on methodone and suboxone - and was suicidal - no psych hospital is prepared to take her - with 4 in the vicinity. She is in limbo - she cannot leave the ER and has no place to go - and cannot be released to home. We laughingly told the head nurse - "Well if she stays here on a gurney in the ER/psych ward for the next 4 months and has the baby here - then you can release her as she won't be High Risk." Even though the behavioral RN's are pretty immune to patient humor - it brought a laugh and an extra dinner for me.

I am seeing what a fine young man the baby daddy is as he hasn't left her side and is so compassionate.

One more quick run in tonight to bring her more DVD's and cookies and to tell her about what real friends/family on this forum we have.

Thank you, thank you.
Karyn
P.S. New baby's name will be Victoria Lynn (Victoria from victory over drugs). Nice huh?

[Cheryl]

Dear Karyn,

I love the name and what it symbolizes. I am so thankful that your daughter is safe.

Love,
Cheryl