Quote for the Day

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

Moderator: DianeB

Quote for the Day

Postby jjabc » Sun May 13, 2012 9:05 am

This quote was sent to me in one of my daily inspirational emails. I found it especially relevant for me today.

"A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary"

I received a phone call from my daughter last night. When I see her name on the caller ID, my heart goes in my throat so I was crying already when I picked up. I heard crying on the other end as well. I panic immediately and wonder what is wrong. You see, I don't get phone calls from her anymore unless there is something wrong or she wants money. She said, "I just want to wish you a Happy Mother's Day. I know tomorrow is really Mother's Day but I just wanted to call tonight. I want to make sure you know that I love you very much." Boo Hoo and blubbering by this point, on my part of the conversation. I tell her that she will never know how much I appreciate hearing that and that I love her too. I don't know how she understood what I was saying I was blubbering so hard, but she has learned to interpret my blubber speech by now, I guess. She assures me she is O.K., even says that she has been thinking about turning herself in. I tell her that I am really missing her and wish she would do that and just get it over with so she can go on with her life.
Then she askes if I would like to drive up and meet her for a bit today. This is the hard part, the making the "leaning not necessary part": I tell her that I just can't do that; My car is really acting up (which is true). But the truth is, I would love nothing more than to go to her today and buy lunch for her and hug her and touch her face. But I just don't have the energy, or the emotional stamina to watch her drive off afterwards to where ever and however she is living. It was very painful to say no. I also can't just take her out to lunch and pretend all if well and good; not when she is breaking the law and on the run. It is sending the wrong message to her.
It is really hard being a mother. Doing the right thing can feel so wrong. But, I love her that much! I hope she realizes that someday.
jjabc
 
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby Ninaloy87 » Sun May 13, 2012 9:13 am

I love your quote for the day. I am going to use it and send to
some of the people in my life.
You are a fantastic Mom. I"m sure your
daughter realizes how much you love her.
And she loves you too.
Happy Mother's Day!!
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby jpaetz3 » Sun May 13, 2012 9:28 am

What strength you have. I know that had to be hard. So happy she called you and was able to wish you happy Mother's Day.
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby pabrown » Sun May 13, 2012 9:35 am

Dear Jay,

I wished I was there to give a BIG OLE (((((HUG))))). I know how hard that had to be
for you. I'm so glad your daughter called to wish you a Happy Mothers Day and told
you she is ok. Your strength is inspiring. I love this quote and wrote it in my
recovery journal. You are loved.

Wishing you a peaceful day my friend.

Patsy
today I choose to live with gratitude for the LOVE that fills my heart,
the PEACE that rests within my spirit,
and the voice of HOPE that says...all things are possible.
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby jjabc » Sun May 13, 2012 10:10 am

I just recieved an email from one of my sponsee sisters telling me that she was once told, "If you want to see your child, do so". Nothing else matters, even the criminality of the situation. I think she might be right. Just wanted to share another opinion about this matter. Not sure what I will do now, and still not comfortable about traveling that distance in my old clunker. But maybe a call to her today is called for.
Love you guys.
Jay
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby DianeB » Sun May 13, 2012 10:12 am

Awesome, mother! Awesome that through
your sadness you understood your own truth,
you understood what was important for you.

And you understood love.

Thank you for sharing this.

Hugs....
with Love

DianeB



“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” - Charles Darwin

http://nar-anon.org
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby kathyf » Sun May 13, 2012 11:45 am

Dear Jay,

What an inspiration as a mom!

The love of a mother.

Love,
Kathy
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby Melissa » Sun May 13, 2012 11:56 am

Dear Jay--

What a great quote. It's a keeper.

You are a KEEPER!! I want to take this time to tell you what an inspirational person you are:
A loving Mom
A woman with a wonderful sense of humor
A woman with compassion and empathy
A woman who is discovering who she is---one day at a time
A woman who is working the program--and seeing the results in "real time"

Thank you Jay.

((((hugs)))...big HUGS
Melissa
___________________________
On the path to discover the peace of God, which transends all understanding.
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby river rock » Sun May 13, 2012 12:32 pm

She knows you love her,and she loves
You,and so do i.the growth and strength
You show are amazing.i know its hard.
Love
River rock
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby Believer » Sun May 13, 2012 12:51 pm

Dearest Jay, I love you and I am so very grateful to walk this path with you my friend. I too find you so inspirational and always learning so many valuable things to help me work my program. Your daughter is very blessed because YOU are her Mom. I hope whatever you choose brings you peace. This is not easy for sure but we are doing this and getting better everyday. Great post thank you so much for sharing.


love ya girl
peace marie
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby drinkingwater » Sun May 13, 2012 2:39 pm

Oh Jay. I haven't cried recently, reading posts, but this stabbed me right in the heart. You are a great lady and a wonderful mom. You are an inspiration to those of us who struggle so hard with self preservation.

Love you.
Lindsey
"If you're going through hell... keep going." -- Winston Churchill
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby mcollins5 » Sun May 13, 2012 10:40 pm

Jay,

Thank you for sharing this post. You are so inspirational to me. I can't even imagine
such an emotional phone call; you handled everything so well. Your daughter is so
lucky to have you as her mother!

(Hugs)

Mary
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby carpediem » Sun May 13, 2012 10:53 pm

Awesome. I've been having to dish up some lessons in not needing to lean lately with my daughter.
What you've had to do, and the path you've had to walk is so hard -- and yet you have the grace to let us see you struggle and learn how you do so with dignity. Thanks for sharing this vignette with us. It made my day.
"Enlightened ones only show us the way. We have to do our own work." --The Two-Year-Old Yoga Teacher.
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Re: Quote for the Day

Postby callieco » Sun May 13, 2012 11:01 pm

Jay,
Thank you for sharing this quote. I love your shares, you always give me hope :)
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