Thanks for everyone's words of encouragement! I have been to two local nar anon meetings. I'm literally dying for advice and I know you can't give it.
River Rock, my sister is a little more tricky! She's very nice and has a great sense of humor; but she's extremely paranoid and uses your words against you. She takes EVERYTHING super personal. Yesterday she came to pick up her daughter after work and she seemed so normal and back to her old fun self! Now that I know her more, I'm afraid to let my guard down and be friends with her. Especially when she CAN'T tell the truth.
Here's what I'd like to say to her:
"When you are actively seeking help, going to meetings, and getting counseling, we can work on our relationship. Right now you are not and that makes me scared and worried. I can't trust that what you are saying is the truth which makes me fearful being around you. I'm here and will help with your daughter in every way possible and will always be kind to you and love you, but we can't have a friendship as things stand now."
BUT! Is that a Christian response? I don't know if I should suck it up and just spend time with her while being on my guard and taking everything she says with a grain of salt. She has said before that she calls me so that she won't isolate herself and feel like using again. But is that fair to me? Especially when she can go to groups and get a sponsor?
I wish we had the money for therapy so I could know better how to establish these boundaries. I want more than my comfort, I want to do the right thing!